Ep 14: Can't Relax after Work? Let's Fix That!

✨ Are your work thoughts still buzzing long after you've “clocked out”?

You close your laptop, but your mind’s still spinning. You try to relax, but you're stuck rehashing that email, that meeting, or that moment you wish you’d handled differently.

In this episode, I dive into a struggle so many of us face: being “off the clock” but mentally still at work. If your evenings are filled with racing thoughts, anxiety, or rehashing everything that happened (or might happen), this one’s for you.

💡 In this episode, you’ll discover:

• Why your brain won't shut off after work—and how it's tied to old survival strategies.
• A powerful real-life story of “Jack,” a restaurant owner stuck in survival mode.
• How to calm racing thoughts and anxious energy using a quick, body-based mindfulness tool.
• The Sunshine Exercise: a simple visualization that helps you unplug, feel grounded, and actually enjoy your downtime.
• How untangling your self-worth from your to-do list can lead to real freedom.

🧘‍♀️ Try the Sunshine Exercise:

1. Place your hand where you feel tension or anxious energy.
2. Close your eyes and imagine yourself bathed in warm golden sunlight.
3. Visualize that sunshine flowing through your hand into your body.
4. Breathe deeply for 2–3 breaths and notice how you feel.

✨ Key takeaways: You don’t have to accept constant stress as the price for success. Your worth isn’t tied to your to do list. You are enough—just as you are.

00:00 Introduction: The Never-Ending Workday

01:05 Understanding the Mental Struggle

01:40 Client Story: Jack's Burnout

03:08 The Survival Mode Explained

04:20 The Sunshine Exercise

06:49 Jack's Transformation

07:55 Conclusion and Next Steps

👣 Next Steps

Ready to stop overthinking and start enjoying your downtime without guilt?
 Try the Sunshine Exercise this week. And if you want personal guidance, check out my Empowerment Coaching program at anniecampanile.com or send me a DM. I'll help you take the next right step—whether you work with me or not.

Episode 14: Can't Relax after Work? Let's Fix That! TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] You close your laptop, but your brain's still going, like the work day never ended. You try to unwind on the couch, but your mind is stuck on that email you didn't send or that thing you wish you had done differently. Then you crawl into bed and instead of relaxing, you replay the day and mentally prepare for tomorrow.

But constant activity and worrying about work are not something you have to accept as the price you pay for success. I'm Dr. Annie Campanile, and in this episode of Heal Your Trauma, Find Your Voice, I'll share what's really going on when your mind won't shut off, and how to break that cycle, so you can start to untangle your self-worth from your to-do list, close your laptop at the end of the day and actually enjoy your free time. Let's do it!  [00:01:00]

Welcome back to episode 14. Today we're diving into a struggle I hear all the time in my coaching practice. You're physically home, but mentally you're still at work. You're trying to enjoy dinner or relax with your partner, but your mind is stuck on tomorrow's meeting or spinning about that thing you should have said differently, and it's exhausting.

This isn't just about being busy. It's about the pressure to always be better, always be prepared, always stay ahead, because underneath it all, there's a fear that if you don't, something bad will happen. Let me tell you about my client, who let's call Jack. Jack is a talented chef and restaurant owner who came to me for coaching because he felt completely burned out.

He told me, “Even when I'm with my family, I'm not really with them. I'm still thinking about work. I just can't turn it off. I love [00:02:00] being a chef and I knew going into this how demanding the restaurant business can be. But I didn't go into business for myself just so I could spend every free minute worrying about payroll or rehashing the kitchen drama from that day. I wanted freedom, but somehow I feel more trapped than ever.”

I noticed that Jack's leg was bouncing as he talked, and it looked like he might jump up at any minute and start pacing the floor. He had so much nervous energy. When I asked him what was happening in his body when he told me about feeling trapped by work, Jack described feeling butterflies in his stomach and a restless energy in his legs, like he needed to get up and do something.

“I don't know,” he said “It's like sitting still makes it worse, even though I'm so tired. When I try to relax, my body just keeps wanting to move, and the more I think about work, the worse it gets.”

So, Jack was dealing with two problems. His mind was spinning about work nonstop, and his body had lots of [00:03:00] nervous energy that just wouldn't calm down.

Jack was firmly rooted in survival mode. Sound familiar?

Here's what I told Jack and what I want you to know too. Constant activity and worrying about work are not something you have to accept as the price you pay for success.

They’re survival strategies, and they probably worked well for you for a really long time. If you learned that acceptance or safety depended on being responsible, staying ahead, or never making mistakes, then of course your survival brain still thinks it has to be on all the time.

Your survival brain is designed to keep you alive, not to make you happy. It's always scanning for threats, preparing for the worst, and bracing for rejection. But the very strategies that once protected you are now preventing you from fully enjoying your life. They're draining your energy, causing stress in your relationships, and keeping you stuck in overdrive even when nothing's wrong.

But here's the thing, [00:04:00] I actually see burnout as a good sign because when you're burned out, it usually means that some part of you is ready for something different, ready to stop overthinking, and ready to feel good about being off the clock - not worried that you're dropping the ball just because you're having some fun.

Isn't that great? Thank you, Burnout! To help Jack get some immediate relief from the anxious energy he was feeling, I guided him through a simple activity I call the Sunshine Exercise. It's a great way to harness the power of your imagination -which, by the way, is exactly what you're using when you stress about work.

Whether you realize it or not, you're using your imagination a lot of the time. The question is: Are you using it to generate stress or freedom?

Here's how the Sunshine Exercise works. Try it with me now if you can.

When you're stressing about work - or anything else - and you want to calm your mind, gently place your hand on your body right where you feel that anxious [00:05:00] energy. This might seem a little odd because we're talking about our thoughts but I'm focusing you on your body, and that's because connecting with the body is actually the fastest way to calm down our survival response.

So, place your hand on your body where you feel that anxious energy. For some of us, that'll be our belly. For others, it's our head or shoulder. And for Jack it was his bouncing leg. There's no wrong way to do this, so just place your hand on any part of your body that you feel drawn to.

Now close your eyes or look down to avoid distraction, and imagine that you are being bathed in warm golden sunshine. I like to think of myself lying in a sunbeam like a cat, even though I'm allergic to cats!

Imagine the sunshine is the perfect temperature for you, and it'll never burn your skin, so your mind can really relax into this experience.

Now, imagine that the sunshine is [00:06:00] flowing through your hand into your body. That's all there is to it. Just give all of your attention to the sunshine and warmth bathing you and moving through your hand into your body while you take two or three full breaths - or more if it feels good to you.

Then slowly open your eyes or look up and notice how you're feeling. You might notice that your mind has calmed a little bit, or your body has relaxed a little bit. You can do the Sunshine Exercise any time you feel anxious or want to stop thinking about work. When Jack tried it, afterward he said, “That was actually really relaxing. The butterflies didn't go away completely, but they settled and I can see that my leg has stopped bouncing.”

Jack had finally shifted out of survival mode. He decided to do the Sunshine Exercise every day for a week and see what happened. And here's what Jack discovered and what I hope you will take with you today.

The world did not fall [00:07:00] apart when he mentally unplugged. In fact, after just a few days of doing the Sunshine Exercise, when he noticed he was stressing about work, Jack finally got some sleep and began to enjoy his free time with his family.

Not only that, he showed up to work more grounded, more focused, and more creative. He enjoyed his work more and his staff enjoyed working with him more.

Here are the steps to the Sunshine Exercise one more time: First place your hand on your body where you feel tense or anxious. Then imagine you are being bathed in warm golden sunlight.

Imagine that sunlight is flowing through your hand into your body, and then hold that image in your mind while you take two or three full breaths.

It's amazing how much relief we can get in only a minute or two when we do an exercise like this!  

Just like Jack, your worth is not tied to your to-do [00:08:00] list. It's natural to who you are. Right now in this very moment, you are enough just as you are.

If you're ready to stop overthinking, start trusting yourself and feel more grounded at work and at home, give the Sunshine Exercise a try this week.

And if you'd like one-on-one guidance, I'm here to support you. You can learn about my Empowerment Coaching program at www.anniecampanile.com or just send me a DM. Whether you work with me or not, I'll help you figure out the next right step.

Next week, I'm pulling back the curtain on one of the most common struggles ambitious people face, especially if you've experienced trauma. Yep. We are tackling imposter syndrome. You know that voice, that whispers, “You're not ready. You're not qualified. You don't belong here.” I'll show you a simple technique to silence that voice so you can trust your gut, speak up with confidence, and stop second guessing whether you deserve your seat at the table.

Until then, I'm [00:09:00] Dr. Annie Campanile reminding you that healing is possible and you don't have to do it alone. See you next time.